We love hearing from our customers. Below we have gathered some of the questions we receive and our best attempts at honest answers.
Are your mice real?
No. They are dough, sugar, and a small amount of butter. We have been asked this by a number of cats, most of whom pretended not to be disappointed.
Do you offer gluten free options?
We offer a mouse made from a flour that is not gluten, which we call the Ghost Mouse. It is pale, quiet, and a little sad. Customers describe it as an acquired taste, and then acquire it.
Can I place a custom order?
Yes. We have made mice in the shape of famous cats, birds, and one very specific sofa. Please allow five to seven days and provide a clear photograph. A drawing on a napkin is acceptable if the napkin is clean.
Do you deliver?
We do, using a small cart pulled by a very reluctant dachshund named Baguette. Deliveries take longer than we say and arrive slightly warmer than expected.
What is the best way to store the treats?
- In a cool, dry place
- Out of reach of dogs
- Away from windows with birds
- Never in a drawer that opens by itself
What if I eat them all in one go?
Then you have followed the instructions. We cannot be held responsible for the consequences, which include a satisfied smile and an extremely loud purr.
Do you accept payment in fish?
Not as a matter of policy. But we have been known to make exceptions for particularly handsome fish.
If your question has not been answered, please leave it on the counter. A member of staff will find it, eat it, and eventually reply.
Opening Hours
We open at 8 AM, close at 3 PM, and sometimes close at 11 AM if the mice sell out or the staff fall asleep. We do not open on days when the oven refuses, which is a rare event but one we respect. A sign on the door will explain, in pawprints, what happened.
Thank you for reading. We hope to see you soon, near the counter, looking hopeful.
This FAQ is fictional and intended only for entertainment.