TO: All bakery staff. FROM: Madame Pawline Crumb. RE: The flour bin.
On Monday morning, a customer entered the shop to find a large white shape emerging from the flour bin. It was one of our apprentices, a young tuxedo named Domino, who had decided it was a good place for a nap. He was no longer a tuxedo. He was a ghost.
What Happened
Domino climbed into the bin at 5:50 AM, looking for warmth. He fell asleep. At 8:10 AM he awoke, stood up, and sneezed, producing a cloud so thick that the shop was closed for twenty minutes. A customer described the experience as snowing, indoors, in a bakery.
New Rules
- No cat may enter, sit in, or sleep in the flour bin
- No cat may stand on the bin while looking inside it with intent
- No cat may argue that it is warm
- Staff must now check the bin before opening
- Flour must be cleaned from all whiskers before service
A Note on Whiskers
Flour on a whisker is a serious matter, because it can fall into the dough. Our health and safety officer, a cat named Biscuit, has asked all staff to groom thoroughly before work. Anyone who forgets will be given the Cone of Shame, a paper hat in the shape of a croissant.
Domino’s Statement
Domino has asked us to say that he regrets nothing and that the bin was very soft. He is currently on probation and has been reassigned to the cinnamon station, where it is warm but he can’t fall in.
Thank you for your cooperation. Please note that flour will continue to be a part of our daily lives.
Reflection
We have thought deeply about what this incident means for the future of the bakery. Madame Crumb believes it shows that every kitchen needs a little chaos, as long as it is contained inside a bin. The rest of the staff believe it shows that Domino should be supervised. Both views will be recorded.
As a gesture of goodwill, we offered free cinnamon pastries to all customers present, and a small flannel to Domino, who used it as a pillow.
This memo is a work of parody.