Last month we asked our customers a simple question: do you prefer your mouse with a curly tail or a straight one? We expected a quiet reply. We received four hundred letters, two paw prints, and a petition.
The Case for the Curly Tail
Supporters of the curly tail say that it adds personality, movement, and a sense of mischief. A curly tail suggests a mouse in motion, a mouse with plans. “I cannot trust a mouse with a straight tail,” wrote one reader. “It looks like it has something to hide.”
The Case for the Straight Tail
Supporters of the straight tail say that it is honest, elegant, and easier to hold. “A straight tail is the sign of a mouse that knows who it is,” wrote another reader. “A curly tail is a mouse that has been through something.”
The Results
- Curly tail: 46 percent
- Straight tail: 44 percent
- No tail at all: 6 percent
- Do not understand the question: 4 percent
The close margin has led some of our staff to call for a recount. Madame Crumb has declined, saying a recount is just the same argument with more paperwork.
What We Will Do
We will continue to bake both varieties and place them side by side in the window, where customers can compare them, choose, and quietly feel guilty. We will also introduce a third option: the Wavy Tail, which satisfies nobody and therefore offends no one.
A Final Word
We are grateful for the passion shown by our readers and the paw prints, which will be framed. We remind everyone that a tail is only a tail, but a mouse is a friend.
Reader Comments
Among the many comments received was a long essay from a cat named Biscuit, who argued that a mouse should be judged by its flavour and not its tail. He was ignored by everyone, except the cheese danish he was sitting next to, which agreed.
Thank you to everyone who voted, wrote in, or simply stared at the poll for several minutes before leaving.
This poll is fictional, and the results are invented.